His Secret Obsession, reviewed: what you get for 49 dollars, and what the evidence actually says
The short version
A 49 dollar digital guide with a 60 day refund, wrapped in marketing that overpromises what it can deliver
Underneath the sales page, the actual ideas are ordinary and reasonable: men tend to respond well to feeling needed, respected and understood. The publisher cites five real academic sources for that, which is five more than most products in this category bother with.
The packaging is a different matter. Phrases like "he literally becomes obsessed with you", "12 word secret signal" and "the closest thing to a real love potion" are marketing language. None of the five cited studies supports any of them. They support the general premise, not the specific promises.
Worth 49 dollars if you want a structured, readable set of communication ideas and you can ignore the hype around them, with a 60 day refund if you cannot.
Not worth it if you are in real distress, want the outcome guaranteed, or are looking for something that changes another person's behaviour on demand. See who should not buy this.
The verified facts
| Product | His Secret Obsession |
|---|---|
| Author | James Bauer, relationship coach |
| Publisher | Blink Publishing, LLC, a Texas limited liability company, trading as Be Irresistible |
| Price | 49.00 US dollars, one payment |
| Format | Digital only. Instant access after purchase, no shipping |
| Guarantee | 60 calendar days, money back for any reason, by email to the publisher's support address |
| Retailer | ClickBank, which handles payment and refunds |
| Selling since | 19 July 2016 |
| Age requirement | 18 or older, stated in the publisher's terms |
| Upsells after purchase | Yes. The product record shows additional paid items and a recurring item after the first purchase |
What it actually is
His Secret Obsession is a digital guide written for women, built on one central claim the author calls the Hero Instinct: that men have a strong drive to feel needed, useful and irreplaceable, and that a relationship in which a man does not feel that way tends to lose him.
The material is organised as a set of named techniques the author calls "signals". The publisher describes these on the sales page, and the ones named publicly are:
- The Glimpse Phrase, described as showing a man a fuller picture of who you are
- The Fascination Signal, described as a phrase usable in person, by phone or by text
- Silent Action Signals, described as non verbal
- The "IOU" Signal, described as a small change in everyday wording
- The Damsel In Distress Signal, described as engaging a protective response
- The Private Island Signal, described as relating to long term commitment
- The Ex-Back Signal, described as a message for reaching a former partner
That is what is advertised publicly. We have not bought and read the full product, so we cannot tell you the page count, the quality of the writing inside, or whether the material beyond these headings holds up. We say that rather than pretend to a completeness we do not have.
The research question, handled properly
This is the part most reviews of this product get wrong in one direction or the other. They either repeat "scientifically proven" from the sales page, or they claim there is no research at all. Both are false.
There are citations. The publisher lists five sources at the bottom of the sales page, with DOIs, and they are real. They include a review in Psychological Bulletin on whether the desire for status is a fundamental human motive, a paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on implicit self esteem when a romantic partner succeeds, work on responsiveness and relationship quality, and work on the importance of feeling understood in relationships.
What those sources support: that feeling respected, needed and understood matters to people in relationships, and that these are real, studied phenomena. That premise is not fringe.
What those sources do not support, and this is the important half:
- That a specific 12 word text message produces a predictable response
- That any phrase makes a person "literally obsessed"
- That the effect is "more powerful than hunger, thirst and sex combined"
- That any of the named "signals" has been tested
- That the outcomes shown in the sales page happen at any particular rate
Academic work on a general human motive is not evidence for a commercial technique built on top of it. Treat the citations as showing the author read something, not as proof the method works.
Things we noticed that you should know before paying
- The customer story is not necessarily one real person. The publisher's own footer states that details in the stories have been changed and that stories "may also be amalgamations of multiple teaching experiences". That is an honest disclosure on their part, and it also means the "Rachel" narrative should not be read as a case study.
- There is a countdown timer on the sales page. A "Discount ends" counter appears at the foot of the page. We do not use these and we think you should discount them accordingly.
- The publisher's own disclaimer contradicts the sales copy. The footer states that results vary and that the material "is not a substitute for personalized help from a licensed professional". We agree with the disclaimer more than with the headline.
- There are paid upsells after checkout, including a recurring charge. The 49 dollars is the entry price, not necessarily the total. Read each offer screen rather than clicking through it.
Strengths
- A 60 day refund for any reason, in writing in the terms. Not "if you complete the exercises", not "if you show your work". Any reason. That is an unusually clean refund clause and it is the single strongest thing about the purchase.
- One payment of 49 dollars. No subscription for the core product.
- Nine years on sale. A product with an unconditional 60 day refund does not usually survive nine years if most buyers ask for their money back.
- It cites sources at all. A low bar, cleared by very few products in this category.
- The underlying premise is reasonable. Communicating appreciation and making a partner feel valued is not a strange idea.
Limitations
- The framing is about influencing someone else, not about communicating. Words like "obsessed", "trigger" and "control" describe operating on a person rather than talking with them. If that framing sits badly with you, it will keep sitting badly, because it runs through the whole product.
- The promises are far larger than anything cited can support. See the section above.
- It is one sided by design. The material is addressed to one partner and assumes the other does not participate. Relationship problems usually involve two people, and a method only one of them is using has a ceiling.
- Heterosexual framing throughout. The entire product assumes a woman and a man. If that is not your relationship, most of it will not apply.
- No personalisation and no feedback. It is a written product. Nobody reads your situation and nobody answers back.
- The sales page is long, dramatic and hard to skim. You will spend a while there before you find the price.
- We could not verify the contents beyond the public description, because we have not purchased it.
Who it may suit
- Someone in a relationship that is basically functional, curious about a structured set of communication ideas, and comfortable ignoring sales hype
- Someone who prefers reading at their own pace over a course, an app or an appointment
- Someone who wants a fixed 49 dollar price rather than a subscription
- Someone who would actually use a 60 day refund if the material disappoints, rather than letting it lapse out of embarrassment
Who should not buy this
We would rather lose the commission than have you buy this in the wrong situation.
- Anyone in a relationship involving abuse, coercion, fear or control. No book addresses that and this one is not written for it. Speak to a professional or a local support service.
- Anyone in acute distress right now. A digital guide is not support. It cannot see you, cannot respond, and will not be there at two in the morning.
- Anyone expecting a guaranteed outcome from another person. Nothing you buy makes someone else behave in a specific way, and any product suggesting otherwise is overselling.
- Anyone uncomfortable with the influence framing. If "trigger his instinct" reads to you as manipulation, you will not enjoy the material, and that discomfort is a reasonable reaction rather than a failure to understand it.
Affiliate disclosure: If you purchase through this link, Evolure Select may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. You pay the same 49 dollars either way, and the 60 day guarantee is the publisher's, handled by ClickBank, not by us.
Alternatives worth knowing about
These earn us nothing. We list them because a review that offers only one option is not a review.
A licensed couples therapist or counsellor
The honest first alternative. It costs more per hour and it is the only option here where a qualified person actually sees your situation and responds to it. If the relationship problem is serious, this is better value than any digital product regardless of price. The publisher of His Secret Obsession says the same thing in its own disclaimer.
Established books from mainstream publishers
The relationship research field has well known popular titles written by academics rather than marketers, including work by John Gottman on what predicts whether relationships last, and work by Sue Johnson on emotional attachment between partners. They typically cost less than 49 dollars, they are widely available, and the author's credentials are checkable. They are also drier reading, which is exactly why they sell less.
Free material first
Before paying for anything, the ideas underneath this product are widely available at no cost. If you read freely available material on communication and appreciation in relationships and find it useful, a paid product may add structure. If you never get round to reading the free version, a paid one will not fix that.
Not sure what format suits you?
We built a short assessment that asks how you prefer to learn, not what is wrong with your relationship. It takes about two minutes, asks nothing personal, and recommends a format rather than a product.
How we reviewed this
We set our criteria before opening the product pages. In full at how we review. For this page specifically:
- Price and guarantee read from the publisher's own pages, not from a third party summary or another review
- Refund terms read in the legal terms document, not in the marketing copy, because those two often differ
- Every cited source checked for what it is, and separated into what it does and does not support
- Contents described only to the extent publicly documented, with the gap stated openly
- At least four types of reader identified who should not buy
- Alternatives included that pay us nothing
Sources, with dates
All read on 9 September 2026.
- Price of 49.00 US dollars, digital delivery, no shipping, 60 day money
back guarantee, product description, named signals, cited references, countdown
timer, story disclaimer, 18 plus requirement:
beirresistible.com/his-secret-obsession/ - Refund clause of 60 calendar days for any reason, publisher identity as
Blink Publishing LLC of Texas: section 4.3 and section 1.1 of
hissecretobsession.com/terms.php - Affiliate programme terms, and the absence of any published rule about
paid search:
hissecretobsession.com/aff/ - Selling since 19 July 2016, upsell and recurring items present,
retailer is ClickBank: ClickBank public marketplace listing for the vendor
account
hissecret - Academic sources cited by the publisher: Anderson, Hildreth and Howland (2015) in Psychological Bulletin; Ratliff and Oishi (2013) in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; Canevello and Crocker (2010) in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; Reis, Lemay and Finkenauer (2017) in Social and Personality Psychology Compass; and the Harry's Masculinity Report 2018
Prices, guarantees and terms change. If anything here is out of date, write to hello@evolureselect.com and we will correct it and date the correction. We do not edit pages quietly.
About the author of this review
This review was written by Andressa Mariano Silva, publisher of Evolure Select, an independent review site based in Brazil. There is no editorial staff and no parent company. Reach her at the contact page or at hello@evolureselect.com. See also our privacy policy and terms of use.
This page is information and opinion, not professional advice. It is not therapy, counselling, medical or legal advice, and it does not promise any outcome in your relationship.